Movies like American Pie give us the impression that premature ejaculation (PE) is a young man’s problem. Indeed, many who are just starting out having sex encounter it. They learn ways to overcome it over time, get used to sex, or grow more confident, which causes the problem to fade. But it isn’t only younger men who when engaging with a new partner, come to find that their over-excitement or nervousness tends to make them finish quickly. Many times, middle-aged or older men who are widowers or just got out of a marriage or relationship, can also get jittery the first few times with a new partner. It’s perfectly natural. Note what average time really is too. Most men last about three to eight minutes. So if you’re finishing within a few minutes, you are actually right within the spectrum of average. Meanwhile, the female orgasm takes twice as long to reach, on average. Not only that but most women don’t normally orgasm through penetration. Only a small segment of the female population can.
Besides normal misconceptions, there are ways to elongate the experience. But first, one has to figure out whether there’s actually a pathology or if it’s one’s expectations that are wrong. If it isn’t your perception, consider if this is a common or lifelong occurrence or only a temporary one. If temporary, chances are it’ll go away on its own. Be a generous lover and revel in foreplay. Rather than have a pity party for yourself, prioritize her pleasure when things finish quickly. Offer digital stimulation or oral sex. Women appreciate the effort you put in to make them climax. If penetrative sex is over quick, think of it as an opportunity to pleasure your partner or to wait a bit and go for round two. Sometimes changing position when you’re about to blow or just changing rhythm can help. A short bout of PE can last for weeks or even months. But if you think it’s not going away or are having trouble dealing with it, see a doctor or urologist about it.