It’s bound to happen sooner or later. Every man experiences premature ejaculation (PE) at some point. Such an occurrence once in a while is normal. If it happens every time, especially going back to since you’ve first started having sex, a medical or psychological issue may be to blame. In general, most couples laugh it off. But some men get very defensive about it or tend to retreat from intimacy. How you react can affect your partner. Those men who can calm themselves, laugh it off, and go ahead and please their lover, are usually the most successful. Of course, no matter what, a man feels vulnerable at this time. How his partner reacts says a lot about her and their relationship. If she makes him feel bad about himself, she’s probably not relationship material. If she gives him reassurance however, tells him that it’s “No big deal,” or pushes him toward pleasuring her, chances are she’s a keeper.
The vast majority of women don’t orgasm through penetrative intercourse anyway. So even if it doesn’t last that long, she can still have an orgasm. Another poor female reaction is when a woman beats herself up over it or retreats into herself. Some women look for constant reassurance. She may take PE as a sign that you aren’t that into her or aren’t attracted to her. If it’s a long-term relationship and she has a tendency toward low self-esteem, she may take it to mean that you’ve fallen out of love with her, or that you’re no longer attracted to her. Of course, any woman or man for that matter, can feel like this from time to time. But if she harps on it incessantly or if you’re having a problem and instead of focusing on you, she’s preoccupied with her own feelings, she may not be the best partner for you. If she’s emotionally supportive, helpful, and focused on you then she’s definitely the kind of woman you want to be with. Are you having consistent PE? Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to a doctor or urologist, instead.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a different condition than erectile dysfunction. While ED is generally caused by a lack of blood flow, PE can have a myriad of different causes. Viagra and other ED drugs cause blood vessels to expand, letting more blood into the penis. While this is advantageous for ED, it may not work for PE. With PE, there are two main kinds, primary and acquired PE. Men who have had it for all their sexual encounters from the beginning, are said to have primary PE. While those who have had successful sexual encounters before, have acquired PE. Another aspect is expectation versus reality. If you consider internet porn to be the standard, you’re sorely mistaken. The average bout of penetrative intercourse lasts for about five minutes. With PE, that means ejaculating in less than a minute’s time or even before penetration takes place.
Lots of things can cause PE. It might be genetic, as a side effect of a certain medication, a brain chemical imbalance, and more. There are equally as many cures, and the treatment must fit the cause. Some men also like a combination of treatments. There are some times when an ED drug might be appropriate, such as when a man’s primary issue is ED. He’s afraid of losing his erection during the course of penetrative sex. So he ejaculates before losing his erection. In this case, an ED drug may be required. You never want to evaluate or medicate yourself, however. ED drugs can have side effects. What’s more, they can be dangerous when taken alongside other medications. A mood disorder such as anxiety or depression could be behind it. Or a physical cause such as diabetes, high or low blood pressure, high cholesterol, and more. Or it may even be a combination of issues. Be sure and see a doctor or urologist to get to the bottom of it.
Sex has different moods. Sometimes you want it to last a really long time. But when you get with a new partner, it can take time to find each other’s rhythm. The advantage new love has is that it’s exuberant. It’s fresh and new. Everything is exciting. The experience is exhilarating. But sex experts actually say sex gets much better when a couple has been together for a while. They know each other’s likes and dislikes, what positions work for them and don’t, what each other’s boundaries are, and even their kinks, shared and not. While with something new, there’s a lot of fumbling. That can be for clothes, condoms, and things like how long the act should last. One of the most common causes of premature ejaculation (PE) is getting into a new relationship. Men who have been in a long-term relationship until fairly recently, might be the most likely to experience it.
So how do you if it’s PE or just the jitters of being with a new partner? That depends on a lot of things. First, consider how long it’s been. If it’s only been a couple of months, nervousness is to be expected. Although men are portrayed as perennially confident in the bedroom, it’s normal to get nervous about sex. If it’s been a year or more, another issue may be standing in the way. Think back to your last sexual episode or last few episodes. Were you nervous? On a scale of one to ten, how nervous were you? Understand that the system that allows a man to engage in sex for any length of time is undermined by the “fight or flight” response. The more nervous you are, the more likely PE will become. Have you started taking any new medications? Or are you suffering from a mood disorder, such as anxiety or depression? Get a good look at the situation. But if you think you’re suffering from premature ejaculation and not just a short-term bout of nerves, seek out a doctor or urologist and find out what’s going on.
Movies like American Pie give us the impression that premature ejaculation (PE) is a young man’s problem. Indeed, many who are just starting out having sex encounter it. They learn ways to overcome it over time, get used to sex, or grow more confident, which causes the problem to fade. But it isn’t only younger men who when engaging with a new partner, come to find that their over-excitement or nervousness tends to make them finish quickly. Many times, middle-aged or older men who are widowers or just got out of a marriage or relationship, can also get jittery the first few times with a new partner. It’s perfectly natural. Note what average time really is too. Most men last about three to eight minutes. So if you’re finishing within a few minutes, you are actually right within the spectrum of average. Meanwhile, the female orgasm takes twice as long to reach, on average. Not only that but most women don’t normally orgasm through penetration. Only a small segment of the female population can.
Besides normal misconceptions, there are ways to elongate the experience. But first, one has to figure out whether there’s actually a pathology or if it’s one’s expectations that are wrong. If it isn’t your perception, consider if this is a common or lifelong occurrence or only a temporary one. If temporary, chances are it’ll go away on its own. Be a generous lover and revel in foreplay. Rather than have a pity party for yourself, prioritize her pleasure when things finish quickly. Offer digital stimulation or oral sex. Women appreciate the effort you put in to make them climax. If penetrative sex is over quick, think of it as an opportunity to pleasure your partner or to wait a bit and go for round two. Sometimes changing position when you’re about to blow or just changing rhythm can help. A short bout of PE can last for weeks or even months. But if you think it’s not going away or are having trouble dealing with it, see a doctor or urologist about it.
Sex isn’t supposed to be like in movies or porn. How long it lasts or should last varies widely from one couple to the next. While some women for instance enjoy a long bout, others get sore quickly and want it over soon. And even though we’re likely to see online videos where men last tens of minutes, in reality, around five to seven minutes is the average duration. Still, when it doesn’t last as long as a couple thinks it should, disappointment, shame, and other negative feelings can occur and the relationship may suffer, as a result. Premature ejaculation (PE) is actually quite common. Around one-fifth of men experience it at some point. How the man or the couple feel about it however matters. It isn’t considered a medical issue unless such incidence brings on negative experiences. Unfortunately, lots of things can cause it, and emotional and psychological factors can complicate the condition.
The symptoms of PE include ejaculating with little sexual stimulation and having little to no ejaculatory control. This is followed by feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and frustration. The many may also experience a lower libido as a result. There are those men who endure it temporarily. It usually goes away on its own over the course of a few weeks or months. Others wrestle with it all their lives. Sometimes a physical problem is at fault. This can include a spinal cord issue, ED, or inflammation of the prostate gland. To diagnose PE, a patient will have to discuss their sexual history with a physician. Be sure to be as honest as possible. You never know what might lead to the cause of the problem. A physical exam might also be warranted, which may include a prostate exam. You might also need to undergo a neurological test to rule out any problems to the nervous system. If you believe you have PE, see a doctor or urologist and get it checked out.
Erectile dysfunction is exceedingly common, and not only among older men. 25% of those under age 40 experience ED, according to a 2013 report published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Most of the time, a medical problem is the cause. These can include some serious, even life-threatening conditions, such as diabetes or hypertension. Yet, in a minority of instances, an emotional issue is to blame. In such cases anxiety, depression, or chronic stress may be at fault. Performance anxiety is a common concern among young men, especially if they’re inexperienced. Here, psychotherapy or sex therapy may be warranted. Of course in such instances, ED drugs may not be appropriate. Some men have tried alternative therapies such as meditation or yoga. Transcendental meditation is particularly popular these days. This is where a person sits with a straight spine in the lotus position and loses themselves utterly in meditation.
Anecdotally, some practitioners say that the practice gives them rock hard erections. In younger men, oftentimes high levels of adrenaline or cortisol in the system due to anxiety or stress, stifle the oxygen to certain areas of the body, decreasing blood flow, especially to the penis. With a lowered blood flow comes less of a chance of being able to perform. So of course, helping a man to relax can also restore his capability, if the cause is psychological. There haven’t been many studies unfortunately, linking meditation with increased erectile performance. One such study was conducted at New York University in 1977. After meditating for just 15 minutes, volunteers were found to be able to achieve strong, healthy erections. Unfortunately, this study only included nine men. A far larger sample would be needed to indicate that meditation had such an impressive impact. Then again, it can’t hurt to try it. There’s no negative side effects to speak of. Just be sure you get checked out by a doctor or urologist, first to rule out a physical cause.